The dark sense you give to the poem is great. The words you used are great and describing something dark and gloomy, if that is what you are going for, you are headed in the right direction. Although, in the first few lines I notice line breaks, but no punctuation was added to instruct me as the reader, where i should pulse. I feel there should be a comma between the second and third like. A pulse between those lines, would add more mystery, it would help the readers understand what going on, because would be forced to stop by the punctuation to take, the details in.
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